The Gena Monologues

February...the month of cold rain, possible snow/ice and Valentine's Day. Blech.

2012-01-31T10:30:00.005-06:00

I generally am not fond of January and February. College football is over, post holiday blues and the weather in Alabama tends to suck a big giant donkey crank.

Add to that that I've never been fond of Valentine's Day. In grade school there were always kids who didn't get Valentine's because they didn't have a parent (or an awesome sister like me) to help them decorate a shoebox to collect said Valentine's. It was just sad, even though there was candy. Then, as junior high and high school droned on, it was a contest to see whose boyfriend could send the most obnoxious, gigantic conglomeration of flowers and balloons known to the free world. Deliver me.

Please know I in no way WHATSOEVER begrudge those in love. I don't hate you or covet your situation. I'm genuinely happy for you folks. But it doesn't change my opinion on V-Day. I find it to be a marketing scam of the highest order. And don't get me wrong, I'm not unromantic. I just prefer that I get a special gift or flowers because someone who believes the sun rises and sets on my ass just decided on a whim to get me a pretty on a random day.

I guess I'll own being a smidge jaded. I say this only because if someone wants to get me some fabulous Valentine's Day candy, I will consume it with carefree abandon. Except the fruit creme ones. Those I take a bite out of then throw out.

Happy February!

There are angels allllllll around us.

2012-01-20T11:27:00.004-06:00

That's a line in a movie, right? Maybe not. But I'm feeling it today, and these beautiful flowers are why. How we came together, and stayed together, is one of my favorite journeys in life.

My sweet friend David Blackwell Waites died on January 26, 1996. The lily you see beautifully displayed here is a gift I received from him. David had an amazing green thumb. He had a successful landscaping business in Atlanta for years, but when his battle with AIDS became too much he moved home with his parents in Florence, Alabama and kept a small greenhouse. That's when I got to know him. And love him.

David used to tease me because I had a decidedly brown thumb in 1996. And 1995, and all the way back, I suppose, to my birth in 1966. Brown. thumb. So a couple of months before David died, he called me. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello?

David: Hey girl, I want you to come by the house. I've got something for you.

Me: Oooh, what what what?

(Sidebar: David was crazy creative on about a gajillion levels. He painted, wrote and could just take any old piece of shit and make it look fabulous. So any time he said he had something for me I was giddy with anticipation of what beautiful thing he had made.)

David: Two plants.

Me: Oh.

David: (laugh laugh laugh) Don't worry, they are low maintenance and I'll tell you exactly what how to take care of them.

Me: David, you love your plants. Why would you give me two of your innocent plants? You know I have a brown thumb.

David: I'm going to prove to you that you don't. Get your ass over here as soon as you can.

So I picked up a Mother-In-Law's tongue (which I still have) and the lily. The holidays came and went, and I kept them alive. Thriving, even. I did exactly what David said. Kept them near the sun, and watered them when they started to droop.

Then David died in January. I made it my life's mission to keep these plants alive. I wanted to over water, over feed, hover. But I didn't. David's advice stayed with me. They continued to live, and grow. I split and re-potted them both. But the lily didn't bloom. While I was a bit disappointed, I was so thrilled to be keeping plants alive that I didn't much care.

Fast forward to 2009, thirteen years after David left us. My father had just had a heart attack. I was in the middle of the biggest emotional shitstorm of my life. I felt beaten down, chastised, less than. And for the first time, the lily bloomed. Right about the time David died. Just a couple of blooms, but I felt so strongly that those two flowers were a sign that David and my Papa Land (who died in 1989 and was the dearest man ever to walk the Earth) were watching over me. Those flowers represented my guardian angels, at least to me.

The lilies have continued to bloom, about the same time every year, with a couple more blooms here and there. With each additional bloom, I felt another guardian angel in my life. My dad, my mother, friends I've lost. One year I had five. I was thrilled.

Then there's this year. 2012. When I'm in a state of emotional and financial flux. When I don't always feel steady ground under my feet. When I'm unsure sometimes what step to take next. This year, there are SIXTEEN blooms on my lily. Almost four times the number that have bloomed in the past. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16. That's a lot, my friends.

When I saw the blooms earlier this week, I had a really lovely cry. Not sad at all, because I realize David and my grandfather and so many others that I'm not even sure I know are all around me, guiding me every step of the way.

Today, I wish for all who read this that you may have all the guardian angels you need to lead you on your path.

I love you, David. Thank you for this amazing gift.

Though April showers may come your waaaayyyyy.....

2011-04-16T21:06:00.004-05:00

Felt like this much since April 1? I know I have, both inside and outside. Oy.

I just finished "The Wisdom of Menopause" by Dr. Christiane Northrup, and boy, does she know what's in my head and heart. Life feels like a whirlwind these days, sometimes bringing torrential rain, sometimes thunder and lightning, and sometimes those pesky straight line winds that blow you off your feet. According to Dr. N, that is not at all uncommon. That in and of itself made me feel better because for months now I've just been feeling slap ass crazy.

It's not in my nature to go with the flow on this sort of emotional unpredictability, much less the unpredictability of everyday life. I feel God is pressing me hard to give up some old defense mechanisms and negative ideas about myself and embark on a journey of really finding wholeness in my heart and soul for the first time. It's scary and exciting at the same time. Sad and exhilarating. Even if something isn't serving your best needs any more, letting go of it is a bit like letting go of a friend from whom you've grown apart. It's part of life, but there's a hole there for a while as you absorb the change.

So, if you have or ever have had a uterus, read the book. It's amazing for women of all ages. And if you love anyone who has or ever has had a uterus, it might not be a bad idea for you to peruse it as well.

Stay dry if you want, or just toss your umbrella aside, raise your face to the raindrops and let them wash over you. Whatever feels right.

Why, hello stranger!

2011-03-27T21:41:00.003-05:00

So glad you stopped by! Come on in, have a cup of coffee, let's catch up!

My last post here was over a year ago. Life and karma/God/kismet have continued to open amazing doors for me, and I've been smart enough to walk through them instead of being so scared that I wouldn't even peek inside.

(Did you see me just use that door metaphor right by this photo of a gorgeous door? I didn't even do that intentionally. Pin one of those beautiful roses on me!)

I shall try to recount some of the many lessons I've learned in the last 16 months since I last blogged:

I'm following my gut more, but praying first.
I'm learning to really like myself.
I'm learning that after taking aforementioned #1, if I still feel strongly about something in my gut, I stick with it.
I'm infinitely better at picking my battles. So many things just don't matter like I thought they did in the past.
I'm learning to be gentle with myself, and as a result I'm becoming gentler with others. I have forgiven those who have wronged me and prayed that they receive peace, blessings and contentment in their lives.
I'm reading more, for fun and to keep learning and growing.
I've begun to really, seriously appreciate the unconditional love that my father and I were able to share in the months before he died. That is a gift far greater than I would have ever imagined us giving each other in my younger years.
I'm learning that love is a process, and it grows and changes every day.
I'm laughing more.
And yes......last but not least.........

wait for it........

I've really started realizing that I can only control myself and my reactions to life. By "realizing" I mean I'm feeling it, not just knowing it on a conscious level. I've known it for years, yet still tried to control as a way to cope with my fear. I'm letting that go, a wee little bit at a time. Some days it's two steps forward and three steps back, but I'm not where I was and I'm happy about that. I don't muck things up *then* later think "oh, why did I try to control that situation?" God stops me smack in the middle of it, and I hear him. I step away, I save myself and others grief and unhappiness and I can be at peace with that.

One of my recently adopted mantras is "this is not my journey". It's a good one to ponder.

Things I have to be happy about today

2009-11-19T12:29:00.006-06:00

The sun is out, and my mood matches this beautiful day!

There is no God higher than truth, and that is proving more true in my life every day.

My husband and I are laughing together again. I didn't realize how much I had missed that.

I have peace about the decisions I make that enable me to make sure my father's last wishes are carried out.

Gap's Christmas commerial.

I haven't hit the Wii once this week, and I'm not kicking myself over it.

I've cooked a couple of really good meals for my family this week.

This week's Family Guy was one of the funniest ones I've ever seen, and I have it on TiVo.

My amazing friends. Ice cream. Marble Slab, Brewsters (sp?), you name it.

Pumpin spice lattes.

2009-11-03T19:57:00.002-06:00

Easier said than done, huh?

I was just looking at my Facebook page and my message, posted much earlier in the year, states "2009 will be a great year!" or some such hopefulness.

In a way it was. Though I lost my father, I got to spend some amazing time with him, and resolve some issues that helped us both say goodbye with no regrets. I was able to help facilitate a move for him that brought him, in his own words, a peace and contentment that he had never experienced before. I'm eternally grateful for his faith in me and my sister and in giving us that opportunity.

But I lost my father, and my faith has been tested because of some things that are out of my control. I've been angry at God, and haven't been comfortable in my own skin because of some intense negativity toward a select few.

I can't say all my anger is gone, but that's just a stage of grief, so it will come and go for a while. What I can say today, for the first time in a long time, is that I will come out of this with a renewed faith, stronger than ever in the knowledge that God has a plan for me that is spectacular beyond anything I could measure in my limited human brain. I don't always feel it, but I know it to be true.

I had a good cry recently and told my husband that I feel like I've been swimming upstream lately. I then remembered something I heard on the radio a while back. If you feel like you're paddling against the stream, don't just turn and paddle in the opposite direction: LET GO OF THE PADDLES AND JUST LET THE CURRENT CARRY YOU. Seriously? That's the shit we're supposed to do to give us inner peace? I throw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it.

That fight for control has been the true battle of my life. It's the part I've always fought. When humans grow up with abuse, it appears we spend the rest of our lives trying (in vain) to gain control over every aspect of our lives. I know on a cognitive level that control is a fallacy, but that scared little girl needs it right now. While I grieve for my father on an adult level, I grieve in an entirely different way from a child-like level at times.

I remember the night my father packed up and moved out for the first time. He and my mother were screaming at each other about something, and as I sat on the edge of my bed sobbing, I was simultaneously relieved that he was leaving and terrified that this man who called every shot in our lives was leaving us. How would we survive? How would we eat? Where would we live? I hated him and felt completely dependent on him for my existence all at once. While the feelings about him aren't the same, the feeling about the situation is quite similar.

I knew things would surface after he died, issues that I thought I had resolved or maybe never even considered. I knew my grief would take me through a maze of emotions that made no sense, and that my mood and feelings would turn on a dime without explanation. I'm tired of that, and I think I'm just getting into the thick of it. So I can't lose my faith, and I won't. My soul will grow and expand and be more capable of love. My ability to forgive will grow by leaps and bounds. I will let go of old survivial patterns that no longer serve me well. It's what he would have wanted for me.

Time heals, this too shall pass, blah blah blah

2009-07-26T13:12:00.002-05:00

My father died 21 days ago. We are having a memorial for him next weekend. I am so ready to have this next week over. I couldn't be there when he died, so this, I feel, is the closure I need.

We've been battling to ensure his final wishes are carried out for five months now, but today is one of the days when I feel like it has been five years. I'm tired, physically, mentally and emotionally. My husband's family reunion is today, and I just couldn't make it. I knew I couldn't stand in the middle of a crowded house full of people, a majority of whom I don't know. They would wish me well and give me condolences on my father's death. I have no doubt about that. I just couldn't do it today.

Today I need to hide. I need quiet. I need to watch mindless television and perform mindless tasks like folding laundry. If I perk up, I'll try to study a bit. I need to gear up for rehearsal tonight so I'm no just a lump of flesh sitting there with nothing to contribute.

I have had some good days in the last 21 days. This just isn't one of them.

Scared, excited, tired, worried, stressed, uplifted, hopeful, proud

2009-06-23T15:37:00.003-05:00

Gee, can there be more adjectives to describe me these days? I'm sure there are.

I finally committed today to going solo and starting my own massage therapy practice. The only way I know how to describe how it feels is the first time I got to ride Space Mountain at Disney World when I was 12. I was terrified during that slow, long climb up through the mountain, super terrified when we reached the opening where you could see folks snaked through the line to ride before us. The terror increased when I saw all those meteors and planets project onto the black ceiling in that behemoth of a room. By the time we actually got to be next in line, I thought I'd puke. When we got in the ride I remember thinking "God wouldn't really end my short, sad life on a roller coaster, would he? Then the lights in the tunnel began to flash, and my heart raced so fast I thought it would pop right out of my mouth and end up in lost and found. Then.....................WHOOOOOOOOOOSH!

I was still scared, but I loved every minute of it. I almost peed my pants. I screamed with glee and terror. My heart stayed put, success! I rode it again, and I've ridden it many times since.

While I realize that starting a business isn't quite as controlled an environment as The Magic Kingdom, I do know that The Big Guy (not Walt, the bigger one) is in charge. I'm going to work hard, do good work, and leave the rest for Him/Her to figure out.

This is a risk I've really struggled with, but I've kept coming back to what pushed me to go to school in the first place. I want to be able to surround myself with people who are good, positive, loving, accepting and kind. If you work for someone else, you don't always get that lucky. Sometimes you have to eat a lot of shit to work out in "the world", and while I know that menu item won't be totally off my menu, I'll be able to refuse after the first bite. I might be lucky enough to smell it coming in the door and just go on a little feces fast until the coast is clear.

Wouldn't that be nice? I prefer to snack on this instead.

Revenge is a dish best just thrown on the bonfire

2009-06-11T10:24:00.003-05:00

So the saga continues with my Dad. He's having a series of small strokes on a pretty regular basis, which is so sad to watch but not at all surprising. We're making progress on taking care of some of his business matters, and there is now no doubt who is loyal and deserving of my father's love and who is not.

We spent the weekend cleaning out his office and getting ready for its' appraisal. In only four hours 40 years worth of work had been either loaded into our trailer, thrown away or donated to the local thrift store. Regardless of my history with my father, pangs of sadness ate at my gut as I walked through his office. It's not his office any more. His name's on the deed, but he won't be going down to spend half a day with his renters anymore, or going to the Elks lodge to play Rook with his buddies. Even though I felt a tremendous relief at having this task completed, I had a little cry.

99% of all his paperwork went back to my house with us, where my sister and I spent Saturday night going through it to see what we needed to keep and what could be purged. Sunday night found us in the field behind our house, burning the items we didn't need to keep. It was cathartic watching all these items become part of space, air, the sky. Some of those items represented some very dark days in my father's life, and I felt lighter seeing it go.

We confirmed last week that my uncle and aunt (my father's younger siblings) have indeed been financially supporting my father's ex-wife. The one who is suing my father and trying to take his home. These are the siblings he put his life on the line to protect, and he pulled them out of many a fire in their lives. While my father is hurt beyond belief, he said he's glad to know who he can really trust, for once in his life. Again, so sad.

The me of my 20's and 30's would have been envisioning all sorts of heinous revenge fantasies against my aunt, uncle and this ex-wife whose sick behavior kept us from our father for many years. I would have plotted ways to take them down. Probably not carried any of it out, but the plotting would have occupied much of my time.

I get it. This has truly, to my core, taught me the depth of meaning behind the saying "living well is the best revenge." My sister and I immediately stepped in when my father's ex abandoned him at the hospital, making calls to find him a long term care facility near my sister, closing bank accounts to stop the draining of my father's finances, staying with him at the hospital 24/7 until he was well enough to make the trip to Mobile. My sister has changed all aspects of her life to make sure he is properly cared for, and I have taken on the substantial job of managing my father's business affairs. We haven't countersued or spread untruths. I haven't lay awake a single moment figuring out the best punishment for them and their selfish, greedy deeds. We've just taken care of our father and reassured him a million times that he is loved and will never be abandoned again.

And in the best possible way, justice is being done where these people are concerned. And I haven't had to lift a finger to ensure that happened. When evil people cross your path, protect yourself and the people you love. Beyond that, if you give them enough rope, they will hang themselves every time.

I must confess, however, that the most cathartic moment around our bonfire was when we threw pictures of these people onto the flame. My father surrounded himself with people that spent much of their time working to drive a wedge between him and his children. He allowed that, and for that he is eternally sorry. He apologizes daily and has said more than once that he doesn't deserve the wonderful care we're giving him. That sense of not deserving unconditional love has haunted him his entire life, and I pray for him that he can let that go in his last days. It's a burden he passed on to us, but I'm proud to say I no longer feel that way. I want that freedom for him.

2009-05-27T10:34:00.002-05:00

A month from today I will graduate from the Madison School of Massage Therapy. I can't believe that the time is nigh upon us!

I felt that this time would never come. The last 15 months feel like a continuous loop of the movie Groundhog Day, only without as many laughs. My head feels about as empty as the one wearing the mortarboard above.

I'm really proud of myself, thank you very much. I've come a long way from the scared chick that showed up in class the first night, not knowing for sure that I had it in me to juggle work and a family and all this information that I never bothered with when I was in college. I've learned so much and (thank God) I get good evaluations from the folks I work on in the clinic.

I'll take my national certification boards in July (please keep all digits and your eyes crossed, and any other body parts that will cross), and hopefully will have my license in August. I know I'm wishing my life away, but it can not happen soon enough for me.

I've needed to make this career change for a long time, and it's finally here. It's scary as shit and the most invigorating thing I've ever faced and I can't wait.

Ohmmmmmmmmmm

2009-04-08T13:14:00.000-05:00

Readers, if you just read my prior post and are worried that I've let the trials of life get the best of me, fear not! I'm learning a lot about myself right now, and I've come to the conclusion that a couple of the lessons I'm to learn from this particular experience is twofold: patience and it's not about me.

Right after my divorce, while I was still stinging from the betrayal by my husband and a friend and wondering why oh why oh why oh why me, I went to visit my sister at the Gulf. We decided to go get massages one day and by sheer serendipity my massage therapist was a Native American healer that was at the salon to teach new modalities to the other practitioners. She wasn't going to perform any massages but their schedule got full. Thus our paths crossed.

She told me at the beginning of the session that typically she didn't talk a lot during massage but asked if I would mind her making some observations once we got started. Oddly enough, I said yes, even though I usually abhor the therapist talking to me during a massage. She gave me some background on her and how she came to be a healer as well as a massage therapist. I remember her mentioning how the integration of her belief in God, her experience as a healer to her tribe and her experiences as a bodyworker helped her become a better spirit. I loved hearing her story but didn't share anything about me.

She performed abdominal massage on me (which I had not had before or since until I started massage school). After she was done, she placed her hand on my forehead and said "Gena, you are holding a tremendous amount of pain and anger towards a man and a woman that have hurt you deeply. You must let this pain go to be able to have a better life." I immediately started to cry. I tear up just writing about it or telling the story now, ten years later.

"Honey", she went on, "what happened wasn't even about you. He was still so enmeshed in the pain of his childhood that he didn't even consider that what he was doing would hurt you. Please don't take it personally."

Now, I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass and tell you I floated out of that room all full of forgiveness and compassion. Surely you know me better than that. But I did feel a tremendous release of pain that day, and I stepped a lot more lightly after that. I knew what she told me was going to change my life.

It has. I've thought back to that day literally thousands of times since then, and what she said (granted, over time) made perfect sense to me. Knowing that now, as obstacles in the form of people's anger or negativity or whatever fall onto my path, I'm able to realize much more quickly that their issues are not about me. Regardless of how or why they chose to direct their negativity at me, I don't take it personally. I try to allow myself to consider what lesson I need to learn from the obstacle, then I put it behind me and move on.

Thank you, Rayna. I hope some day our paths cross again and I can thank you.

Sad

2009-04-02T14:25:00.000-05:00

I've been truant, blog readers. Sorry. My life has been a whirlwind since the beginning of March. I've thought often about blogging out everything that has happened, but haven't been able to bring myself to do it until today. It's a sad time.

My father has had Parkinson's Disease for 17 years. At the beginning of March he suffered a mild heart attack and was taken to Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville. During that time his girlfriend left the hospital with all his belongings when she realized he wasn't going to be able to come home and her free ride was basically over. During their ten years together she has stolen his identity more than once and forged his name on checks. She has a son who has abused drugs for years who we now know threatened to kill my dad on numerous occasions if he ended the relationship. My sister and I could never understand why he kept her around until now. Though my father has told her he doesn't want her in his life anymore, she refuses to leave the house and we are having to evict her. There's something especially coldhearted about a person that would put us all through this as my dad struggles to recover. She has never even called to check on him. While this is hurtful to him, he has known her true colors for years and isn't surprised. What does surprise him is that his own brother and sister, the ones he put his life on the line to protect at such an early age, have turned against him as well. They don't want him having anything to do with us, but they don't want to take responsibility for caring for him either. The only thing I can think of that motivates them is money.

My father grew up with a violent alcoholic for a father. He held a shotgun on my father when he was four but was too drunk to be steady himself and pull the trigger. My dad was the oldest of three, and when he was a bit older he and his mother dug out a hole in the dirt beneath their wood kitchen floor to have a place to hide when his father came home. When they heard his car in the yard he would hustle his younger siblings into the hole, he and his mother would place the planks back over it and wait until my grandfather passed out to come out.

My father was not Father of the Year material, but since I've learned just how terrified he was as a child I understand him. We have trudged through the years (sometimes together, sometimes apart) to a pretty good place now. I've forgiven him for his mistakes, and he realizes that he sacrificed so much time with us to appease these people who ultimately aren't there for him now. We love each other, and he is grateful for the sacrifices that my sister and I are making to ensure that the time he has left is peaceful. It's the first time in his life that someone is loving him without condition, without wanting anything from him. I'm so grateful that we are at this place, but it's so sad to see him hurt by these other people.

It didn't have to be this way. If you love someone you don't try to alienate them from their children, or from anyone that loves them.

I work hard not to let my anger at these people take me over. I don't want the time I have left with my dad to be clouded with anything negative, and I don't want those people to have any space in my head. Most days I do pretty well with that. Most days.

So March is over, thank God. April is here, and every day that goes by is one day closer to when I will be able to eliminate these toxic people from my life forever. My father chose to move into a rehabilitative facility near my sister and is more at peace and content than I have ever seen him. His recovery is very slow going, but just having the chaos out of his life is helping a lot. God is with us.

Remember Mr. Costanza?

2009-02-25T11:16:00.000-06:00

George's dad? Of course you do, why did I even ask?

I bring up the character played by the great Jerry Stiller because I used to love how high strung he was while he shrieked "SERENITY NOW!" His veins would pop out and his eyes would bulge and his neck would all but disappear as the muscles tensed to Hell and back.

In retrospect, that was me back then. And now sometimes. I think that's why it makes me laugh. I want to be that chick in the picture, appreciating, nay celebrating, just being on the earth. But who can't be serene when you're standing naked in a beautiful waterfall?

It is in the being still that serenity comes for me. Being still is really hard for me. I'm really tough on myself because when I meditate I constantly, every other second, have to bring myself back to emptying my mind and thoughts. But isn't that universal among most of us?

So today I just sat in my favorite chair ever. It's in my kitchen, it's big, overstuffed and just very "me". I sat there for about ten minutes. I highly recommend it. I didn't have a plan or a chant in my head, I just felt that it would benefit me to be still for a while. Plus, everyone had cleared out for the day and the silence was literally calling to me.

Part of the time I just talked to God, but if that's not your bag then go your own way. I was praying, but not in the traditional way that I was raised. I just sort of rambled on about what was on my mind.

Find a place, it doesn't matter where it is. Just find a place to "be" for whatever time you have. I believe you'll walk away a bit calmer, a bit healthier, and a bit more serene.

To post or not to post......

2009-02-16T16:24:00.000-06:00

So my FB status a couple of weeks ago said "Gena should write a blog entry." Then I didn't.

It had been one of those weeks, and then some. I was feeling really defeated because of a couple of family members' actions (my biological family, not Carpenter or the kids. For those of you who don't know, my biological family has more issues than Time Magazine.). It really wasn't new behavior, I just hadn't had to deal with the dysfunction in a while, so it took me off guard.

So I was hurt and angry at myself for letting what they did hurt me. Not a good combination of hot topics in my head. I debated with myself (which is exhausting, if you haven't done it before spare yourself) about just having a big ol' emotional upchuck on the ol' blog and getting it out of my system. But something kept telling me not to, so I just rode it out.

And I'm glad I did ride it out. Though I had every right to throw myself a pity party complete with martini bar and finger foods, I feel better that I just rode it out until my peace returned. If I had blogged about it, it would have prolonged the hurt. I think I learned that it's OK to just be hurt for a while. I did have a big ol' emotional upchuck (only emotional) on the Carpenter's shoulder the other morning, but that's what his shoulder is for. Plus, he already knows the batshit craziness that is my family.

I'm not hurt by it now. I'm a bit smarter, but I'm not sending out a thank you card for that.

P.S. I feel compelled to mention that I think this blog is not punctuated properly, but I have no desire to proofread. Carry on.

Ever have one of those days?

2009-01-15T15:12:00.000-06:00

Not the bad kind, but the good kind were you just stop at some point during the day and say "Wow, this has been a pretty damn good day!" I've had that day.

I'm packing tonight for a girl's weekend in Baltimore (which would make me smile through many ills). I have great shows to watch on my DVR. My family and I are healthy, my husband and I have jobs. My errands went off without a hitch today and no one cut me off in traffic. I had a check ready at the consignment shop and I got a cashback rebate from my credit card that I wasn't expecting.

I know it's a cliche', but it really *is* the little things. It's taken me a long time to realize that, and I sometimes still lose sight of it, so I'm going to celebrate when I really feel it.

Hello Blog

2009-01-08T16:01:00.000-06:00

Wow, I haven't been here in a hundred years. At least it seems that long.

School is back in swing, I have a great new opportunity on the horizon (that I can't yet articulate to the blog reading public. Sorry.), and this morning I got to see this sunrise.

What in the name of all that's good and holy was I doing out in my car that early? Funny you should ask. I had a sleep study last night, and it kicked my ass. I think they should be renamed I can't sleep studies.

I blame myself. They gave me a Rozerem at the doc's office and I forgot to take it to the sleep clinic. So having 4,783 electrodes attached to you from head to shin and wearing a Darth Vader mask while trying to drift off to sleep is about as easy as it sounds.

But the perk was this sunset. We've so damn little of the sun over the last month that I had to capture it on film.

The actual getting home right after I scored this awesome sunset pic was not pretty. Still lots of flooded roads, so I had to go about 20 miles out of my way to get home. I was not happy. And sleep deprived. And the mask rested all night on a lovely zit that I have by my nose, so that wanker feels about 40 pounds right now.

Sigh. I should go home and go to sleep.

Fun Tips on the last Monday of 2008 because I am a giver

2008-12-29T12:59:00.001-06:00

1. Tired of the ridiculous fees your cell phone carrier charges you for 411 calls? Try 1-888-FREE411. You have to listen to a few ads, but you will eventually get your number for free. I have it on my speed dial as directory assistance is asslandically expensive.

2. From The Simple Dollar - how to find the cheapest grocery store in your area

First, identify all of the grocery stores that you’d be willing to shop at. For me, the nearest town with any competitive shopping has a Hy-Vee, a Dahl’s, a Fareway, a Super Target, and a Wal Mart Supercenter, among the ones I would be willing to shop at.

Next, make a list of the twenty or thirty (or more) items you buy regularly. This includes basic food staples like bread, eggs, and cheese to toiletries and other such supplies. List produce, list beverages, list prepackaged meals - whatever it is that you buy regularly. For me, this list ended up with about thirty items on it.

Once you’ve done that, make a regular shopping trip to each of those stores. While there, note the price on each of these items in that store. I found it useful to print off several copies of the list of items, then take a copy of it to each store as I went, so I could jot down the prices. Take down the price of every item on the list - if a store doesn’t carry a particular item, find the closest substitute and note that.

When you’ve done this for each store, just add up the prices of all of the items to get your total for each store - and then you should do your regular shopping at the store with the lowest total.

3. Take a few minutes every day to just "be". Trust me, no one has less free time than me right now, what with school and work and three pesky stepkids and an even peskier (at times) husband. But taking just five minutes to sit comfortably, breathe in and out slowly, close your eyes and just "be" can really make a difference.

I hope all who read this are in for the most rewarding, fruitful, loving, fantastic, glamorous year ever!

2008-12-19T10:57:00.000-06:00

I got a Christmas bonus today! I'll get a great massage and facial and treat my husband a post-Christmas gift or two.

I made a B in Kinesiology!!!!!!

Happy happy joy joy, have a great weekend!

Ask not for whom the bell tolls.....

2008-12-15T13:18:00.000-06:00

It tolls for me.

My comprehensive final in Kinesiology is in T-5 hours. I have a B going into the final, but I'm still insane with anxiety over whether or not I'll do well on this.

This test will represent the last seven months of my life. Kinesiology has kicked my ass and told me to like it. I have spent hours every Sunday studying for my Monday Kinesiology tests, and lunches throughout the week doing homework and preparing for quizzes. Everyone in my school's program says that once Kinesiology is over, the rest is a cake walk by comparison. Please, sweet baby Jesus with the portable massage table and aromatherapy oils, let this be true.

Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra

2008-12-09T15:00:00.000-06:00

I'm not unexcited about Christmas this year, just a bit ambivalent. Can you be a bit ambivalent? OK, then I'm just ambivalent.

I've done most of the shopping. I'm looking at a two week break from school. We don't have hideous, stressful plans that would require us to shlep our kids/gifts/selves to multiple places for multiple meals resulting in multiple panic attacks. I have the usual ick around finding the time to wrap the gifts and getting my Christmas cards in the mail, but that's nothing new.

Maybe it's the economy. We've cut back this year, which I'm actually happy with, but the recent economic downturn has resulted in my being unable to just suspend reality for about three weeks and say "Hey, we can't change it today, so let's just enjoy the holiday season and begin chewing our fingernails over it anew in the new year." I just can't seem to get there.

Bah. Humbug.

I'm going to see The Nutcracker on Sunday, perhaps that will help. Also, I'll be attending the
Book Club Christmas Dinner tomorrow night, which, come to think of it, I am MIGHTILY thrilled about that!

Well, look at me, feeling better. Maybe even festive.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!

2008-11-26T10:57:00.000-06:00

What fun! Thanksgiving brings a fount of blessings for the Wilhite's this year, among them a week's vacation from school for moi, our youngest turning 13 and getting his own cell phone (which means we'll cancel our land line), and a weekend of tailgating, overeating and over-imbibing in Tuscaloosa. God bless us every one!

In all seriousness, I'm thankful beyond expression this year for so many things. It has been an extremely difficult year in many ways, but my faith and love for God, my family and myself not only survived the test but came through it stronger than I ever could have imagined. This awakening was completely unexpected and knocked me on my ass at times. Do awakenings tend to be that way for you too?

I'm so thankful for all of you and your blogs! I've felt pretty isolated this year as I've thrown myself 110% into school, and having your blogs, forum posts and e-mails to read has helped me feel connected. I'm halfway through school now, and the timbre of the experience is changing. The most difficult, technical classes are behind me. What lies ahead will really prepare me to make my career change. It's very exciting!

Aren't you impressed that I used the word timbre?

So thank you all for your amazing friendship, acceptance, love, support, humor and fun. I am who I am today because of the examples I've seen all my wonderful, strong friends set for me every day. I am blessed to have you in my life and I love you all dearly.

Well, I'm sort of over myself

2008-11-18T11:47:00.000-06:00

Seriously.

I suppose the last few weeks have been building to a bit of a climax. I'm burned out on school, frustrated with my perimenopausal symptoms and have been having heart palpitations. It's been about me. Me me me me me. Ugh.

I have found out in the last week that my thyroid levels are high (which means either a: they are going to be weird and spikey as my hormones are weird and spikey, or b: the tests I had run in July were inaccurate. Either way, balls.) I'm now waiting for my endocrinologist from Huntsville to review said thyroid levels and contact me about where to go from here. This type of waiting makes me insane, as it can't be good for me to sit and have heart palpitations for any extended period of time.

I realized this morning that I'm over myself. I'm tired of thinking about my health issues and how I will persevere through the second half of school and whether or not I can carve out some time to take care of myself. I need to suck it up, control the things I can and let the rest work themselves out. I'm thinking too much and not just being.

You'd think being an actress that I would love the attention, but I have found throughout my life that I don't want the attention offstage. I hated planning my weddings (hush) and being the center of everything as The Bride. I don't mind making presentations in front of groups for work, but that's so much like being on stage that I don't feel it counts.

I need to throw myself into something inane and thoughtless, so I think I'll do some holiday decorating this weekend.

Some fun for my liberal friends

2008-11-05T14:38:00.000-06:00

I love this country!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-04T22:43:00.000-06:00

What an amazing, breathtaking time to be an American! I feel hope for my country in a way that I haven't in so long. I have felt like at times in the last eight years that I was a stranger in my own land. All that "either you're with us or against us" stuff, the calling people unAmerican and unpatriotic just because some of us had the unmitigated gall to question the decisions our president and his cabinet were making really got under my skin. I thought that's what made this country the best in the world, but then somebody went and changed the rules. For a while.

I guess as it turns out I'm not the stranger anymore. Hallelujah!!!!

I said a prayer of thanks tonight, and I'll continue to pray for our country. For *all* our elected officials, not just the ones who think like I do.

God bless us every one.

Fun Fall Randomness

2008-11-03T13:11:00.000-06:00

I'm a UT football fan, which is to say that I've been in the throes of frustration and sadness this season. I grew up in Tennessee and would have gone to school there had my parents not divorced. Stupid parents.

Phil Fulmer has been UT's head football coach for most of my life, and he's resigning this afternoon. It's time and we're past due for a change, but it's the passing of a legend and he's done a lot for the university. That having been said, sweet Jesus I've wanted to throw a melon through the TV every Saturday since Labor Day. I plan to enjoy the speculation about his replacement.

On an unrelated note (or not), I've been having heart palpitations for about a month. I went to the doctor today and he wants to do bloodwork. When did I become this person with irregular periods, hot flash, excessive belly fat and heart palpitations?

I'm halfway through school, praise the messenger bag, massage oil toting baby Jesus!

VOTE!!!

2008-11-03T09:21:00.000-06:00

Participate in one of the most powerful processes that make America great!

It's Facebook, and yet it's soooooo much more!

2008-10-22T17:31:00.000-05:00

I'm officially on Facebook. I fought this social networking rigmarole for as long as I could, but I threw up the white flag last week and actually created a profile and started communicating. Social networking, as it were.

I like it, but there's a lot of it I don't get. For instance, I was trying to type my husband's name into the "spouse" field while I was updating my profile, and inadvertently became married to a great female friend of mine for about a day. I didn't even notice it until someone pointed it out. Oh the talk!

I understand sending plants to each other. We're saving the planet. I understand sending cyberhugs, I'm all about that. But what is Flair? Cheese? Do I want people sending those things to me and do they want me to send the some back? What exactly does that accomplish? And why are people sending me Halloween costumes? I've already worn one at our Oktoberfest party so I'm all out of the mood.

So if yo'ur sending me Flair or Cheese or some sort of costume or asking me to have a shot of tequila with you and I don't respond, please don't take it personally. I'm still in the social networking kiddie pool.

Blah Blahbety Blah

2008-10-16T16:07:00.000-05:00

I'm blah today.

Maybe it's the low after the high of passing my clinic test last night. I get to start working in the clinic now, and for me that's no small thing. I had to massage one of our instructors and be observed by the other. It puts my graduation date no closer but I feel closer to graduating. Does that make sense?

So now I can work in the clinic, but that's not good enough for me. I want to graduate, and be able to do this full time. The fact that I can't, that it's still nine months away, has me blah today. That's how long babies simmer before they're ready to come out!

I miss my pre-school life (not preschool, God knows). I miss being able to do theatre, I miss book club, I miss nights at home. I miss leisure time. I miss lounging around on weekends and getting things done at a leisurely pace instead of having to rush through things so I can study.

I miss my early 20's brain that soaked up information like a sponge the first time I read it. That ship has sailed faaaaaaaaaaaar out of port, never to return.

I miss having the energy to enjoy a good ol' romp in the hay with my husband. I hope that doesn't embarass you. It would him, but it would take an act of God for him to be able to sit at the computer and figure out how to get to this blog. We still romp, I'm just not energetic about it. How sad that is for him.

I really don't feel right venting to him, because he's carrying all the shit I'm not doing because I'm not around as much. So thanks for indulging me, blog readers.

And while I'm venting, wouldn't it be nice if one day you got a nice certificate in the mail, on parchment paper with calligraphy and all, that pronounced you officially Menstrual Cycle Free For The Remainder Of Your Natural Life?

That's another saga for another day. Sigh. Blah.

Outsourcing A Go-Go

2008-09-30T10:18:00.000-05:00

Oh, Lord.

We recently upgraded our internet modem with HughesNet. It arrived by mail while I was on a business trip to Nashville, and as my husband only learned how to access a computer earlier this decade, he unpacked it and left it on the desk in the study for me to install when I arrived home.

Let me digress for a moment to state that if *I* am the technical expert in the family, trouble most definitely lies ahead. To top that, apparently I became a man on Sunday just before beginning the installation of said modem. I neglected to read the directions and just kept forging ahead, unplugging this cord and plugging in that cable all willy nilly in 9,743 different ways. That being said, on with the story.

After about half a dozen different variations of plugging, unplugging and rebooting, I threw the white flag and called HughesNet Technical Support. And the fun began!

I spoke with four different techs on four different calls, only once for actual technical help. The other three calls were to obtain information that we received via my husband's HughesNet email account, which he had no idea how to access. Anyhoo, each technical support rep was friendly and gracious. However, each one made Apu Nahaspeemapetilon sound like Kevin Spacey. I became more amazed (and amused instead of annoyed, for some reason) with each call. Every. single. call. went. just. this. way.

"Hello, thank you for calling HughesNet Technical Support, my name is Justin/Harry/Martin/Meredith. (Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.), how may I be of help to you today?"

"Blah blah blah blah blah from me."

"So let me make sure I understand your problem. Your blah blah won't connect to your blah blah and you have no blah blah. Is that correct?"

"Blah blah blah yes from me."

"OK, I can absolutely assist you with that today."

I don't know why I didn't go ripshit crazy, but in point of fact I had the opposite response. I began feeling really badly for Justin/Harry/Martin/Meredith. It became evident that they are just as nervous and frustrated at being on their end of the call as I was on mine. They didn't understand me any better than I understood them, yet if our call ultimately ended in non-resolution, I just had to pay a service rep to come to my house. They'd perhaps be reprimanded or lose their jobs.

Justin became my closest friend at the end of the day, we spent more time together. He had me enter several different parameters to help find a satellite signal, to no avail each time. He became more stressed with each failed attempt, put me on hold each time, and upon his return to try yet another set of parameters, seemed more tense and panicky. I began to worry. What happens when one of these perfectly nice outsourcing Indian folks can't solve the problem on the call? Are they fired? Caned? Imprisoned?

At the end of each call (once my specific problem was or was not resolved), the script took over again.

"So, Mrs. Weeelhite, has your issue been resolved today? Excellent, you have a most wonderful blessed afternoon today and thank you for calling us today."

Ultimately, once I read the directions that sonofabitch modem worked like a charm.

I don't agree with outsourcing on several levels, but if you take a moment to look at it from the standpoint of an Indian citizen it makes you think twice.

Indians who to go work in call centers typically make $15,000 per year. This puts them in the upper upper income class in their country. For many of them it is their only chance to own a home and give their family a secure life. How's that for job pressure?

So thanks to my four new Indian friends. I know your names aren't Justin/Harry/Martin/Meredith. I know your boss gives you an American name. It doesn't matter that it doesn't fool me, you still have to do it. You each seemed to be trying really hard to make the transaction a pleasant one. I appreciate the effort, and it actually was.

Now here's a bailout plan I can support!

2008-09-26T11:13:00.001-05:00

I'm against the $85 BILLION bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a "We Deserve It" dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. citizens, aged 18+.

Our population is about 301 million counting every man, woman , and child.

So, 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.

Now, divide 200 million, 18+ adults into $85 billion - that equals $425,000.00 each!

Yes, my plan is to give that $425,000 to every adult as a "We Deserve It" dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So, let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Everyone would pay $127,500.00 in taxes.

That sends $25.5 billion right back to Uncle Sam! It also means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.

A husband and wife would have $595,000.00!

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00?

· Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved

· Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads

· Put away money for college – it'll really be there

· Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs

· Buy a new car – create jobs

· Invest in the market – capital drives growth

· Pay for your parent's medical insurance – health care improves

· Enable Deadbeat Parents to come clean – or else

Remember this is for every adult U.S. citizen, 18 and older (including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehmann Brothers and every other company that is cutting back) and of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U.S. citizen!!

As for AIG – liquidate it.

· Sell off its parts.

· Let American General go back to being American General.

· Sell off the real estate.

· Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

We deserve the money and AIG doesn't. Sure it's a crazy idea, but can you imagine the coast-to-coast block party?!

How do you spell Economic Boom? W-e D-e-s-e-r-v-e I-t d-i-v-i-d-e-n-d!

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion "We Deserve It" dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington, D.C..

And remember, The plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Like sands through the hourglass......

2008-09-16T08:20:00.001-05:00

So are the days of our lives.

Who else is old enough to remember that?

Let's see, what has transpired since we last spoke? The kids are well ensconced in school. Grades coming in so far are good, and both boys are playing football. It's the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, yada yada yada yada. Last week we drove to the ass end of nowhere (which, if you know how far out I live, is saying a lot) and the only redeeming element of the experience was that they had funnel cake in the concession stand. Score!!!!!!!!!! We lost and it was hot as Hell. The players were barfing (not attractive) and one of our cheerleaders passed out from the heat. Good times.

I'm almost done with my unsupervised massages, woo hoo! I've really enjoyed them but they put a huge strain on my already hugely strained schedule. I'm soooooooo ready to make this career change. Which reminds me - another fun fact that came to light recently is that the company I work for is seriously in the red and our owner will most likely have to make the decision around the first of the year as to whether or not to keep investing his personal funds in the company. I'm tempted to go to a temp agency to see what's out there in the short term because I can't in good conscience go after a long term job knowing I want to make this career change in mid-2009. Oy.

In more fun news, Carpenter taught me to operate the tractor! I use the verb "operate" because when I mentioned wanting to learn to drive the tractor, he heaved a sigh and pointed out that when you are operating farm machinery, you are not "driving". Whatever, Farmer Ted.

My favorite thing about this picture is that the tractor strategically hides my side fat rolls. Maybe I should "operate" the tractor everywhere I go.

Here are a couple of my attempts at artsy fartsy pics:

Groovy, huh?

Can you really survive with only four minutes of spare time per day?

2008-08-27T10:38:00.000-05:00

Not well, I can tell you that.

School marches on. I've given up the fantasy of straight A's, thank you Kinesiology! Maybe I can pull off A's and B's.

I'm almost done with my unsupervised massages, so I should have more free time and time for the fam by the end of September. Thanks to all those who volunteered to be my guinea pigs! I'm having fun with it.

So life marches on as well. We're back in the school routine, with one in varsity football (first game tomorrow) one in JV football (I will miss games next week due to massages, wah!). Thank God Rachel won't start track until the Spring. I love football season!

Other than that, not much going on at Casa De Wilhite. I'm on day 4 of planet hair due to the humidity. It's not pretty, but it's easy.

I miss Book Club!

Wow

2008-08-12T20:27:00.000-05:00

So I'm here at the Grove Park Inn, and tonight was the big party to wrap up our conference.

I snuck away from the aforementioned party with a glass of Grove Park Cabernet Sauvignon and headed to one of the terraces to have a few minutes of quiet to get back in touch with myself. It's so easy (for me) to lose myself in these environments. Always having to be "on", most people having their own agenda, it just gets old. I sat out and gazed over the cityscape of Asheville for a few minutes then headed back to my room via the spa. It's a beautiful underground spa with tons of natural rock and wonderful instrumental music plays all the time. I stopped and took a deep breath and thought about what it will be like to create that kind of peaceful environment for my clients one day. As I walked past the individual massage rooms and reached out to touch the smoked glass, it hit me that I've realized a calling. When I gave myself permission to go to massage school and change my life, I opened up a world where what I do to pay the bills brings me closer to myself. That's part of the calling, but the much bigger part is that I can help bring people closer to themselves; to that part of them that is quiet and peaceful and accepting of themselves just the way they are. The part inside them where God or The Universe or whatever is important to them lives and thrives.

A nanosecond after all the things in that big long paragraph above occurred to me, I got scared. It's a little scary to have a calling, at least for me. I think now that I've realized this calling I won't be able to let it go until I follow it to its natural conclusion. That's a lot to take in.

Bring out your dead!!!!!

2008-08-11T08:40:00.000-05:00

No, really. Don't.

This blog title is just a veiled reference to my never ending, ongoing fatigue. I've not gotten eight hours of sleep since Jesus wore short pants, and I'm about to hit the wall.

I write to you from Asheville, NC, which is beautiful and wonderful and the place Carpenter and I honeymooned four years ago.

The bad news is I'm here for work and Carpenter isn't with me and I'm accompanied by Captain Obvious (coworker who earns his name anew every day by yammering on incessantly stating what he's either already stated or what's so obvious a well trained guinea pig has already figured it out). I could be asleep right now in my luscious Grove Park Inn bed, but noooooooo. I'm at the trade show booth, with a faux smile plastered on my face while I appear to look busy with work related things. I'm *not* happy about this. At. all. Nor am I happy that a 50 minute massage here is $140. American. We should relocate here after the kids are in college. I could make a killin'.

School continues to be awesome, although my work travels take me away from it this week. I'll have work to make up when I return. Bah.

The Dog Days

2008-07-26T16:24:00.000-05:00

Lord, it's hot. We had a fabulous vacation with three other couples and celebrated my birthday, so I'm officially ready for Fall. Homemade chili, football games, crisp Autumn leaves, the whole schmiel.

School continues to roll along, I made a 95 on my first Kinesiology test, which is no less than a certified miracle. I've begun my unsupervised massages, which I'm really loving. Thanks in abundance to all of you who have agreed to be my guinea pigs! I really feel called to do this. It makes me happy.

So I'm 42 and having hot flashes. Not fun. I'm going off the pill for three months to see if I still have periods. If not I'll have a hormone panel done. Wah! I love where I am in life, but menopause? Really? Eh, we'll see.

Thank God for vacation!!!!!!!

2008-07-14T10:24:00.000-05:00

So Carpenter left Saturday for a week at the beach with four other couples, and I'm joining him tomorrow. I've had three days alone at the house and it has been heaven. on. earth.

Classes are going well, but Kinesiology is going to kick my ass. I'm fighting the Teacher's Pet urge to take our instructor a giant fruit basket a la Ralphie because I know it won't score any points with her. She's good, but she's tough. I guess I'll just study like a fiend, though that's no fun at all.

So I was asked by the class to come up with some "scripts" for when you're in an uncomfortable situation with a client. This came about as a result of a conversation we were having one day about this topic and I said "Hell, I've been in Marketing and Sales all my adult life. I can tell someone to kiss my ass in a way that they'll never know they've been told to kiss my ass. They'll leave smiling." The whole situation makes me giggle.

I have some unsupervised massages lined up, woo hoo!

Have a great week, pals! Catch you all when I get home.

Supermom my ass!

2008-07-08T21:35:00.000-05:00

Lord help my soul, I'm tired. Dead. dog. tired. I knew adding school to my already full plate would be tiring, but you never realize how exhausted you are until you actually get still for a minute.

I just had a week off from school, which I sorely needed. I also needed that day off to celebrate our nation's freedom, so thanks to our founding fathers for scheduling our secession from British rule just as I was about to hit the wall.

I don't think that last sentence made any sense, but stay with me.

I started having symptoms of a UTI on Wednesday, and promptly started gorging myself on cranberry juice, cranberry tablets and some Amoxicillin that I borrowed from my SIL. It never got worse but it never got better so I bit the bullet yesterday and went to the doc. I now have a love/hate relationship with Cipro because it's curing my UTI but bringing on a yeast infection. Apparently my girlie bits are bearing the brunt of my fatigue.

On an unrelated note, who knew that Grey's Anatomy has a line of scrubs, and Katherine Heigl has her own line as well?

Testes = Crazy Brain

2008-06-30T09:27:00.001-05:00

Seriously.

OK, I've had many rounds with Blake over cleaning up the kitchen. He half ass does it, doesn't put stuff away, doesn't even bother to wipe down the countertops, etc. So last week, because I was at my wits end, I made a list of exactly what constitutes a clean kitchen. Seriously, 99% of it is the most common sense shit you could imagine. I figured it would humiliate him and he'd step up. He didn't, but guess what? He follows it and now has a complete handle on cleaning the kitchen. When I was 16 I was cleaning the entire house and cooking dinner about four nights out of the week, and I only state this "I walked to school ten miles in the snow up hill both ways" sort of ditty because I actually figured it out with no input from my mother. Does a male 16 year old's brain really work in a way that he has to have every goddamn thing spelled out to him? Will he outgrow this? Because if not I feel compelled to tattoo some kind of warning on his forehead so future potential brides can be aware of what they're getting themselves into.

Then there's Austin. You have to tell him everything at least three times, and by that point my blood pressure is off the charts and Carpenter and I are snapping at each other over it, etc. Good times. So, I hit the wall this weekend. I refuse to participate in this for one more second because it is senseless and it causes problems between me and my husband. I don't think Austin's doing it intentionally to cause flack in our marriage, but that's what happens, so no fucking more. He now has four strikes before school starts. When he half asses something that we know he can do better, or doesn't do a chore on his chore list (I write them down so we can avoid the "you told me but I forgot" lament), he gets a strike. If he has used all four strikes before school starts, he will not play JV football. He will not be waterboy for the varsity. He will sit in the stands with us or he won't attend the games. Period. Now, Carpenter, while he supported the whole four strikes idea, does really want him to play. I personally feel there's a bit of living vicariously going on there because Carpenter was always working and didn't get to play sports. He's made the comment that "playing in high school will teach him discipline". I'm of the school that he shows us he can be responsible and disciplined and that earns him the right to play. I'm grateful that Carpenter saw the bigger picture, namely that we're putting ourselves at odds with each other for no good reason.

And speaking of another testes laden human in my house that I will never understand.....I have asked Carpenter to weedeat the corner of the house next to the front porch numerous times. We have vines and weeds over there and it's looking way past snaky. Considering that someone killed a five foot poisonous rattlesnake in front of our house this weekend, I don't think it's too much to ask that we not set up any comfy hiding places for them. Trust me when I tell you that the first time I go out on the front porch and there's a snake anywhere near it, I'm at the HoJo until the reptile is dead and accounted for. There's no wiggle room (haha) on this one.

So yesterday I'm weeding out front and of course the corner looks like it should have a neon sign over it that blinks "Snakes Welcome. Free HBO." Carpenter's out back with our pal Jeremy on the back patio, so I wander back and ask him when that area's going to be weeded. He said the weedeater needs a new head on it. I ask him when that will happen. He says (a bit huffily at this point, which I totally expected.) when he gets around to fixing it. You'd all be so proud, I didn't use a snotty tone even once. It took tremendous resolve on my part, but I simply looked at him and said "OK, Austin and I are out front weeding we'll just do the best we can to work around it." Now even though I wasn't huffy I figured he'd be pissed because he always gets pissed when I point out to him that he's jacked around on something he said he would do weeks ago. ALWAYS. It's how I know he knows he's in the wrong these days, because he gets all pissy.

So I'm counting on the rest of the day to be pissified. I go in to finish the grocery list and I hear that unmistakeable high pitched buzzing that can only be A WORKING WEEDEATER. I go out, he's out front weedeating like a motherfucker, and wishing my jugular were every weed I'm sure. In the spirit of fair play, I went out and took the weedeater and finished up for him. Odd thing was he didn't seem pissed. Not only did he not seem pissed, but he promptly got on the tractor and began digging up all the weeds in the front of the house, adding dirt to the entire landscaped area, smoothing it out and readying it for plastic and red rock to be placed on top.

So when did this man, who has been exhibiting the same behavior every time we have this sort of issue for eight years now, become this person who does a complete 180 and does way more than I ask of him? Will it happen again, or was this some sort of miraculous planet alignment that only occurs every 273 years?

I'm flummoxed over the whole weekend.

My kingdom for a nap!

2008-06-23T09:40:00.000-05:00

Lord, this was a great weekend, but I got zero rest and Mama needs a nap!

Friday - we had a marvelous anniversary evening in town. Ate at Pauli's, took the scenic route through the park to get back to the hotel, walked by the spot where we got engaged. We so needed that sort of time together, with no pressure or anywhere we had to be. Sigh.

Saturday was class all day and a party at night, and Sunday was laundry and studying. I finally got a nice nap in on Sunday but I'm still exhausted.

Mid-term test tonight, then no more A&P until January!

A Little Cerebral Diarrhea

2008-06-20T13:21:00.000-05:00

Memo to everyone who does *not* have to be anywhere before 8:00 AM on a day when I am driving to work: Wouldn't the world be a better place if you just stayed put until the rest of us (who *do* have to be somewhere before 8:00 AM) got where we're going? And if you just must beat the rush and be on the road in front of me while I'm going to work, GO THE FREAKIN' SPEED LIMIT. See, I'm really working on my spiritual growth. Meditating and breathing and trying to be in the moment and all that. And when you get out on the road at 7:45 and fart around like you are trying to coast for 10-15 miles, I have to spend energy fighting the urge to pass you, spin my car around perpendicular to the road in front of you, drag you out of your car and cram my foot right up your ass.
I adore self-check lanes of all varieties.
I must audition for Million Dollar Password.
If I were queen, these annoying things would be abolished. I wish my ass were small enough that I only required two squares to clean it, but alas. These contraptions that only do a half turn are beyond annoying, and only steel my resolve to spend 12 minutes manually unrolling waaaaaaaay more than I need.

Happy Anniversary, Me and Chris!

2008-06-20T13:14:00.001-05:00

Four years ago today, Chris and I were married. We were originally scheduled to wed on June 10 but my grandmother passed away on June 7. When the dust settled (and I mean that literally) after the funeral and reading of the will, we decided to exercise our spectacularly strong pragmatic streaks and throw the ceremony together before I left for a week long work trip. We were unwilling to give Morgan county one more hard earned penny for another marriage license, which we would have had to do if we waited. Romantic, aren't we?

As a matter of fact, we are! We are headed to the Embassy Suites after work today for a romantic anniversary evening! Dinner at Pauli's, after which we'll wander around downtown for a while in search of good live music, then head back to the hotel.

Do you think the clerk at CVS in Cullman caught on when I purchased only some Astro-Glide and an anniversary card at lunch?

To procreate or not to procreate? Hmmmmmmm

2008-06-18T13:27:00.000-05:00

So after reading my friend Sarah's blog my mind has settled on procreation for a bit. Mine specifically, and our culture's thoughts on mommyhood in general.

Let me start with two strategic disclaimers:

Any disparaging remarks that I make without contributing them to a particular mother are either about my mother or my stepkid's mother.
I love observing, interacting with, befriending and otherwise loving all my friends that are mothers. You've all been an inspiration to me since I became a full time mom.

For those of you who don't know, my three stepchildren live with my husband and me. They go to their moms every other weekend and a bit more frequently during Christmas break and summer vacation. This, for me, has turned out to be a spectacular situation as I always wanted to be a mom but wasn't sure I actually wanted to have the baby myself.

I did go through my moments, though.

In my first two marriages (Yes, two. Be nice.), when I found myself longing for the pitter patter of little feet, I was fortunate enough that the thought would stay in my head long enough for God to tap me on the shoulder and ask me why exactly I wanted a child at that moment. For me, those reasons were not the right reasons to bring a gorgeous (and I do feel quite sure my biological children would have been gorgeous), innocent life into the world. They were things like "I'm really lonely" and "I need someone to love just me" and "Shit, this marriage is tanking and I wonder if a baby would help".

So when #2 ended I considered doing the single parent adoption thing. Then I met Chris, who is funny and nurturing and a wonderful father, and I actually let myself consider it again. I floundered around about it for about a year and still had no real idea what I wanted to do. Eventually I got to the point that I just looked skyward and said "God, if part of your plan is for me to have a biological child, then I want you to make that desire so strong in me that I can't not try." Since up to that point I had always chewed on every problem until all the flavor was gone, I knew that God knew that I was all used up on this one and would have to be hit in the head with a brick if he meant for it to happen.

And that desire never came for me, and culturally my choice is not always particularly understood or supported. Some folks think women aren't really women until they give birth to their own child. Some folks call you selfish if you choose not to have children. Some say you're cold and not maternal. I find none of those thoughts to be true.

So what makes a woman a mother? Here's my list.

If you've ever held a friend while they had one of those great, snotty, heaving cries, you're a mom.
If you've ever licked your thumb and gotten dirt off someone's face, you're a mom.
If you've ever kissed a child's boo boo to make it feel better, you're a mom.
If you've ever babysat for a child who screamed incessantly for more than 30 minutes and you didn't stick your tongue in an electrical outlet, you're a mom.
If you've ever held someone's head as they puked, you're a mom.
Extra credit if you kept a cold cloth on the back of their neck.

I think the world misses the point on the true essence of motherhood. Motherhood is about the heart, not the biology. Women by and large have a tremendous ability to nurture and support, and that's what makes us mothers. We are cheerleaders, disciplinarians, lovers, listeners, givers of unconditional love and joy.

Women will save the world one of these days. We've done it before, and we'll do it again.

May I brag a bit?

2008-06-17T14:05:00.001-05:00

Only because I SCORED 120 OUT OF A POSSIBLE 120 ON MY MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY EXAM!!!!!!!!

I have no idea how and I'm not going to question it. After our subject midterm is over next Monday, we will be done with Anatomy and Physiology until January! Saaaaaaaaaloo! I think I can talk the class into a drink after. Oh, and we start massage on each other on Wednesday! I'm delirious with joy.

In other news, it's supposed to be unseasonably cool and not break 90 degrees for the next few days. I must work in some outdoor reading time this weekend while the kids are at their mom's this weekend. AND I must do some outdoor exercise. Seriously.

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-16T12:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Father's Day to all our great gents! Carpenter scored big with a topless hula girl beer tap handle from me and a pair of Stewie pajama pants from the kids. I wrapped up the day with the most spectacular meal I've put together in a while, thanks to the Pioneer Woman (and Sarah). Pot roast, mashed potatoes, squash casserole, steamed broccoli and rolls. I followed that with homemade hot fudge cake. I gorged in a way I have not in a really long time.

Which brings me to today, Monday. All that fun gorging resulted in hideous painful explosive diarrhea this morning, and though I'm happy to report I did *not* poo on the toilet lid, I did want to poo in my own house. I was at work for all of five minutes. Oy. I'm now home sipping ginger ale and praying the intestinal demons have gone for good. I have a huge midterm terminology test tonight and even with my sharpest powers of recollection it will be tough. Battling intestinal demons while trying to study is something I do NOT need.

Any fun Friday the 13th stories?

2008-06-12T10:51:00.001-05:00

I almost cut my left index finger off exactly ten years ago tomorrow. I was trying to separate frozen biscuits with a Ginsu knife. Yes, I know. So I now have a strict no cooking rule for any and all Fridays the 13th.

Hmmmm, what should I do to celebrate the salvaging of my finger after an ER trip, surgery and weeks of rehab? I might go to an afternoon movie alone, The Strangers seems like a likely choice. Or maybe Ironman, just because damn that Robert Downey Jr. is about the hottest thing I've ever seen. I also haven't seen S&TC, but I think I'll wait for that on PPV.

Let's see, what's going on with class............made an 82 on my last test, blech. I want straight A's so I can taunt my children when school starts back. We start doing massage on each other in class next week, yayyyyyyy! And I'm already lining up some of my appointments for my unsupervised massage requirement, so let me know if you want me to come to your home for a free massage between July 20 and October 1.

We have absolutely nothing planned this weekend, which thrills me to my core. I'm going to try to fit in a one hour meditation at some point, sleep a lot and do a bit of organizing with my school papers. Oh, and study. There's always that.

I got to see Ronda, Scout and Penelope yesterday, what fun! Poor Penelope sounds like a 70 year old chain smoking woman sitting in front of a slot machine in Biloxi with an oxygen tank at her side, but she's beautiful and definitely Ronda's. I hope it sounds worse than it feels, poor kid. Scout was adorable and has finally decided she loves me. It was great catching up with you Ronda! Hope you're enjoying the orange rolls.

So, I hope everyone has a fantastic and safe Friday the 13th weekend!

Have I been in school ten weeks?!?!?!?

2008-06-10T09:36:00.001-05:00

Jesus, time flies. We are almost through with Anatomy and Physiology I (thank God) and getting ready to begin studying kinesiology on Monday nights.

I bought a massage table this weekend! It's a portable one for my in-home massages, I think I'll unpack it and try it out tonight. Anyone want to come to my house for a massage?

Around this time next year I'll be getting ready to graduate. Really thinking about it panics me a bit, which I guess is expected. I refuse to list the reasons why I panic because I'm all about Law of Attraction, so I just keep telling myself that the business will come if I continue to want and attract good things. Oh, and work my ass off in school. There's that.

Happy June!!!!!!

2008-06-03T08:56:00.000-05:00

I adore June. School is out, and with it goes the obligatory craziness that is extracurricular sports, checking homework, school drama, etc. I've planted tomatoes in paint buckets that will grow upside down, I've planted basil and cilantro in clay pots, landscaped and started my tan. I'm happy.

And I have a new bedspread, the result of a long and stress filled search which took months.

School continues to hum along nicely, our class is really clicking as a group which is good since we'll start working on each other in about two weeks. We're getting into great discussions about healing and spirituality and how you incorporate current beliefs (if you have any) into what we're learning about Eastern medicine. Extremely interesting, I'm really enjoying it. Plus when we watch films on different massage modalities we get to bring snacks! Have I stumbled upon the mother lode or what?

Where on earth has the time gone?

2008-05-29T09:17:00.001-05:00

I knew May was going to be hectic, but oy vey! Two business trips out of town, out of town family in town, niece's graduation, end of school, and on and on and on. I am officially jubilant that May is two days away from being in the books.

My last work trip was to Destin, and it was pretty nice. I would have loved to have another day to relax, read my book and bask in the sun, but home beckoned. Chris and I went to Lowe's on Monday and lost our minds buying plants, which resulted in an entire day of planting which resulted in an evening of head to toe body aches and pains for me. I took a nice hot bath and am now basking in the glow of our new plantings. I'll take pics and post over the weekend.

School continues to be great, we start working on each other in two weeks! Happy happy joy joy for me.

What to do for Father's Day?

Slacking bloggER

2008-05-16T09:42:00.000-05:00

I feel like I haven't posted in forever! Life and boring things like work so get in the way of my fun.

The New Orleans trip was fun. It would have been more fun if my husband could have gone along, but so goes life. I returned home to get caught up on schoolwork and prepare for the onslaught of out of town in-laws that will arrive today for my niece's graduation.

We've had a bit of tension in the past over the in-laws, because they come here and stay in our houses and don't seem to understand that though it's vacation for them, we still have to go to work and/or school and keep up with daily activities because it's NOT vacation for us. It's gotten better, but it's just a different vibe while they're here. I'll employ a combination of deep breathing and relaxation exercises with vodka until they leave. It's not a long stay, and we already have plans for Saturday night so it should go along fine.

I LOVE SCHOOL!! Oh to win the lottery so I could quit and just go to school. Oh well.

My pal Sarah mentioned in her blog that she and her husband recently discussed all those little things spouses do that drive each other completely batshit, but you just have to deal with them because it's part of loving someone. We had a cruise ship full of these when we started out, and I'm proud to say we've both worked pretty hard to adjust to each other. I still have a healthy list, and though I feel I'm close to perfect, I'll wrack my brain to come up with some things I do that annoy my husband as well.

He:

Sometimes neglects to make sure the kitchen gets cleaned up on the nights I'm gone.
Rarely has the kids fold their clothes as soon as they're out of the dryer.
Falls asleep in the recliner and expects me to come get him if I wake up during the night.
Leaves his dishes in the sink rather than putting them in the dishwasher.

Don't make up the bed every day.
Want to keep things much more organized than he does.
Think a wadded up piece of paper is garbage as opposed to a tax receipt (Holla, Sarah!)

I'm sure a list he compiled would be way longer. So much of it really is just Mars vs. Venus stuff.

In the interest of fair play and accentuating the positive, here's a list of nice things we do for each other.

He's great to give me back rubs.
I'm pretty good to give him back rubs.
I cook good meals for he and the kids.
He's good to take my plate into the kitchen when I'm done.
We're good snugglers

Back to the grind

2008-05-12T09:21:00.000-05:00

So this last week has been a total blur. New Orleans Sunday - Wednesday, then we went to the Iroquois Steeplechase horse race Friday and Saturday. Had a fantastic time, made new friends, all that good stuff. We drove home Saturday night (well, Chris drove and I slept) in horrible rain but managed to get to the house before the really bad weather hit. I slept fitfully and napped all day yesterday, which means I couldn't go to sleep last night.

All that being said, it's wonderful to be back in my bed at my house with no travel until May 22.

Happy Mother's Day all!

Big Easy, Here I Come!!!

2008-05-02T11:09:00.001-05:00

So I leave Sunday for a conference in New Orleans. Are there words to express how much I love this city? I think not. I will, while meeting my work obligations, manage to work in as much great New Orleans cuisine as I can cram in my piehole, check out the French Market and spend a little time just wandering around the Quarter taking in the ambiance.

Have a great weekend, see you all on Thursday!

Hello, I'm Gena

2008-04-29T16:23:00.000-05:00

and I'm a teacher's pet.

There. It's out there. For years I've been able to deny it, thinking it was something in my childhood borne of my intense insecurity or lack of love. Of course I outgrew it with adulthood, who doesn't?

I catch myself in class thinking things like "don't answer the next question, you've answered the last three" and "I wonder if she'd appreciate a giant fruit basket for Christmas". I haven't volunteered to go beat the dry erasers against a tree or anything, but look! I'm thinking it!

Truth is I liked school most of the time. I was pretty good at it and I was a good kid and teachers liked me, so I wanted to please them. I really wanted to please Mr. Moore, my 8th grade homeroom and history teacher. Mmmmmmmmm, he was dreamy.

Shit, back to the point. I like my teachers and I like when they say "very good" after I answer a question and I like when they laugh at my jokes and what a loser I am!

At least I'm not a tattletale.

Tests on Monday, etc.

2008-04-29T13:48:00.000-05:00

So we're having a test every Monday in my current class, and I personally feel this practice should be banned. Who wants to study on Sunday? Sundays are for naps and sitting in the sun. Anyhoo, I did study, came out with a 96 which was a miracle. I soldier on!

I can see this certification is going to be a very condensed version of college for me. The first half you get all the crap that you could care less about (how many times has your masseuse asked you if you have symptoms of a cerebral embolism, or if your ectoderm is sensitive? I digress) so you can finally get to the stuff you're wanting to learn.

We delved a bit into this last night, and I was truly fascinated. Studies have been conducted that showed premature babies gaining weight 47% faster when they are held and sang to than their counterparts in the nursery that did not receive touch or singing. In orphanages in countries like Romania, where the ratio of child to caregiver is 30:1, the children who did receive more consistent touch survived 70% of the time, where the children who did not survived only 30% of the time.

Touch is the first sense we develop, and it is utilized in the womb months before birth.

I'm a good ol' Southern hugger, and I come by it honestly. To sit in my grand father's lap and watch fireflies in the summer is one of my fondest memories. He was an amazing nurterer and a great "hugger". It's one of the ways my husband reminds me of him, and it's a trait I'd be missing if I couldn't get those great hugs.

So, don't underestimate your ability to soothe, heal, comfort and love through touch. Hug your babies, your significant other, your mom, your pals. I think we can hug the world to a better place.

Last April Weekend Fun

2008-04-28T08:59:00.000-05:00

Great weekend, great great great!

Friday night we only had our youngest, Austin, so we went to eat and to Lowe's to buy plants. Almost $200 in plants later, we were home. Oy.

So we have an outdoor kitchen at one end of the house, and a wooden deck on the other. Chris built a sidewalk between the two and we landscaped.

Before:

After:

It looks really nice now, I'm so proud!

Anatomy and Physiology..........oh my

2008-04-24T20:24:00.000-05:00

Good class last night, this instructor is a hoot and everyone loosened up a lot and laughed. We drew an outline of our bodies on butcher paper and wrote down everything we know about them, and at graduation we're going to go back and look at them and laugh about how much we didn't know. At least I hope that's how it works out. Got home, surfed Candida Royale for some porn with a plot, crashed.

I'm so happy that the new episodes of all my fav shows have started back! I'm watching Grey's Anatomy as we speak.

Happy Earth Day!

2008-04-22T09:38:00.000-05:00

So it's Earth Day, and whether you're planting a tree, recycling, composting or just bringing a mug to work so you don't use the styrofoam cups for coffee, kudos to you!

I live in a rural area that doesn't offer curbside recycling. Hell, we don't have curbs. However, I vow today that I will purchase recycling bins this weekend, mark them accordingly and beat my family into recycling submission! No one will be excited about this but me, but that's half the fun of being a stepmom.

Also, I found this little site - http://michaelbluejay.com/electricity/howmuch.html where you can estimate how much the appliances and other electricity using devices in your home are costing you a year. I'm going to present this to the kids in the hopes that they will understand that we don't hound them to turn off a light, stereo or TV just to "hear our own heads roar" as my grandmother would say. Also, our electric bill is killing us.

And, in what could very well be the single best thing that's happened to me in the in-law department, BIL that lives next door has taken all his old cars to the scrap metal yard! We each have about seven acres of land, and this will definitely improve the view. I'm beside myself, he's making some money on it, we all win.

So here's to Earth Day and each of us doing our part. Whether you do something big or small, it counts.

School - Week 2

2008-04-22T09:35:00.000-05:00

I made 106 on my medical terminology test! Wahoo! I'm so relieved to have it over.

Here's the good news: The instructor tells us after the test that there are 55 questions on it, five of which were to be extra credit. She put additional extra credit on the board, so while she's trying to figure out how many points to assign to each question, I jokingly say "well, you could always let us throw out five questions." Everyone laughs, and I'll be damn if she doesn't look at me and say "sure, we can do that." I rule! Everyone in class owes me a drink, and we owe the instructor about a dozen.

Update

2008-04-21T16:06:00.001-05:00

New guy doesn't look a bit like an albino Frankenstein, but he did give me a fishy handshake. Blech.

Monday, first test day, yada yada yada

2008-04-21T09:29:00.000-05:00

I feel unprepared for this test so I'm going to study it like a fiend at lunch and bug out of work early to study before the test. Wah! I'm nervous.

In other news, we have a new guy at work that started today. His name is Zach, and at first glance as I buzzed past the conference room to put my edamame in the freezer, he looks a bit like an albino Frankenstein. I haven't talked to him, so updates as they develop.

I think I'm ready to try to wean myself off the Lexapro that I've been taking for over a year now. What fun for my family!

TGIF!!

2008-04-18T08:42:00.001-05:00

I'm quite happy that today's Friday. I need some sleep and the weekends seem to be the only time that I can catch up.

My allergies are demonic today, last night's sleep was interspersed with coughing and weird dreams. Good times. Two of my stepkids are in a track meet tomorrow, then I'm going to this - www.bloominfestival.com. It's guaranteed alone time as my husband would rather drink cat piss out of a ten year old pair of my Target mules than go to an arts and crafts show. The kids will go with their mom after the track meet, so we'll head to the big city and have a bite to eat and a few drinks. Date night! One of the few (and I mean very few) perks of having an ex-wife in the picture.

I guess I should acquaint you a bit with my family so I can actually refer to them by name in later posts. My husband's name is Chris, but I call him Carpenter quite a bit. He is indeed a carpenter by trade, and since Chris is also my ex-husband's name (I learned years ago not to shout out names during sex, so no perk there) I had to come up with a catchy nickname for the new Chris when we started dating. We've been together eight years (married for four) and he's great 97.3% of the time. He's way better than the first Chris, who left me for a flat chested woman with buck teeth. Try digging your self-esteem out of *that* hole.

Blake is my oldest stepson, he's 16. Rachel is 14 and Austin is 12. They are sweet kids, very funny and typically pretty easygoing. They've been through a lot with their mom, but that seems to have settled down for the most part. I'm happy for them that they have some stability with her now.

Other than that we have a dog named Max who is the one person that I can guarantee will love me every single time he sees me. As a second wife and full time stepmom, that's no small thing.

Death Penalty for Child Rapists?

2008-04-17T09:07:00.000-05:00

The Supreme Court is currently reviewing the validity of sentencing child rapists to the death penalty. Currently there are only five states that allow for the death penalty in cases where the victim was not killed.

On the face of this I say go for it, that child rapists are a particular brand of evil and deserve to die. But watching last night's news gave me reason to rethink my position. A local attorney stated that there is a real possibility that if a child rapists knows that he will face the death penalty that his incentive to kill his victim and therefore not leave a witness is increased. He also stated that in many child rape cases a family member is the perpetrator and that the child might be guilted into not reporting the rape because that means pervy Uncle Joe could be sentenced to death. How sad is it that our children are still valued so little, often by their own relatives?

Post Tax Day Boredom

2008-04-16T13:02:00.000-05:00

It's a boring humpday, not much going on here. I could have studied my medical terminology at lunch but instead I started reading Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn. Stephen King gave it a great review, so I have high hopes.

My friend Ronda had a beautiful baby girl on Monday, welcome to the world Penelope! I must go see her soon. Ronda by far is having a much more exciting week than me.

My brain is already full.

2008-04-15T10:26:00.000-05:00

There are only five of us in class so far. Amanda is 28, Elaine is 23, Jesse is our only guy, he's 30 and a former army medic. The other girl came in late and her name escapes me. I list their ages because the three of them gave them as part of their introduction. Me not so much, but I'm sure in short order they'll see that I'm a wise, wise sage.

Orientation was conducted by the owners. Did you know by state law you can not give a massage to someone unless they are properly draped? Nudity is illegal. They've had to ask clients to leave before, I guess because they thought they were at one of those Humpy Humpy Happy Ending Massage Spas. I managed to not giggle like a school girl. Be proud, it was difficult.

Our instructor is a neonatal ICU nurse, very nice and laid back. We covered my scheduling conflicts and she was fine with me making up things as I go. We have to make up any hours we miss, so I'll get projects assigned to me when work conflicts with class. Thank God college wasn't like that!

We studied medical terminology last night, so I'm ism'd and ology'd and ostomy'd OUT. We have a test every week, so I'll be reading this shit every day at lunch and praying I can remember it. She said she'd give us a word bank to pull from, so thank the Sweet Baby Jesus Wrapped In Cashmere Suckling the Milk of the Virgin Mary for that.

We'll start hands on massage on each other some time in June. Good times!

Well, here we go!

2008-04-14T08:59:00.000-05:00

This is my first post on my first blog. Yay me!

I love reading my friend's blogs, but when people have asked me why I didn't blog, my first thought was "who the hell would want to read about my boring life?"

But today starts a new chapter in my life, which I'm beginning to feel isn't so boring at all. After working in "the corporate world" for 20+ years, I'm starting massage therapy school today. My goal is to leave the world of owing my soul to the company store and do some things with my life that I can believe in, and that can help me support my family. And my significant shoe habit.